Why do children lie?
Children lie sometimes, some more often than others and for a variety of reasons. But what should a parent do when a child lies?
Lying is not a behaviour that deserves reward, the first lie our child tells however deserves a little celebration as it marks a very important milestone in their development. Around 2 to 3 years of life, every child realizes that his or her self, his or her mind, knowledge and thoughts are his or her own, personal and different from those of other people. So he easily comes to the conclusion that he can "fool" mom by telling her something that is not true.
The academic developmental psychologist A. Demetriou argues that the first lie your child tells you is an event that should make you very happy since it proves that your offspring has mastered the "theory of mind", the ability to separate their own cognition from that of others.
Basic life skills can emerge with the appearance of lying, such as
- decision-making skills,
- moral understanding and
- interpersonal skills.
So understanding that lying is a normal part of a child's development helps us to redefine the way we see it.
However, while lying is a typical behaviour, there are some strategies you can use to minimise it and encourage honesty.
If our child lies to us it frustrates us and potentially makes us angry. But if we want to help our child to stop lying we need to look for the reason behind their need to lie to us.
What are the 3 causes that lead children to lie
Avoiding Consequences or Punishment
Our children may lie to us to escape punishment or scolding for something they did. If there is no gain from telling the truth and the consequences are severe, children may learn to lie to avoid facing consequences.
